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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27595834">With Your Heart (Not Your Head)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctornineandthreequarters/pseuds/doctornineandthreequarters'>doctornineandthreequarters</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>9-1-1 Prompts and Drabbles [22]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Worried Eddie Diaz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:13:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,581</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27595834</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctornineandthreequarters/pseuds/doctornineandthreequarters</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Bobby, we have to do something!” Eddie yelled, trying to break free from Bobby’s grasp, slightly surprised by how strong his captain was. His chest tightened as he looked back at the mud, destroying everything in its wake. “We have to...We need to help Buck!”</p><p>---</p><p>Or, it takes a near-death experience for Eddie to realize something very important.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) &amp; Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>9-1-1 Prompts and Drabbles [22]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878523</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>474</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>With Your Heart (Not Your Head)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Prompt: Buck gets stuck in the mudslide and Eddie goes crazy kind of like a parallel of Eddie begins... and Bobby tells him how Buck reacted the same way and maybe talks about how he went through that himself when his wife and kids died? Kind of like to make them realize they’re in love you get me?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Buck!” Eddie felt like his entire world had collapsed around him as the mud swept Buck away. Buck, who had been right next to him a second ago. Buck, who had knocked Eddie to the side as the mudslide had come speeding towards them. “Buck!” He picked himself off the ground, ready to do something. He wasn’t sure what. Was he going to throw himself into the mud and attempt to swim towards Buck? Was he going to find a dry patch of land and try to run alongside it? He didn’t know. But he was prepared to do something. He had to. He had to help Buck.</p><p> </p><p>But then someone grabbed his arm. </p><p> </p><p>“Eddie!” It was Bobby, trying to hold him back. </p><p> </p><p>“Bobby, we have to do something!” Eddie yelled, trying to break free from Bobby’s grasp, slightly surprised by how strong his captain was. His chest tightened as he looked back at the mud, destroying everything in its wake. “We have to...We need to help Buck!” He tried to pull free again, but as Bobby’s grip only tightened, Eddie felt panic claw up his chest. “Bobby!”</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie, we can’t do anything while it’s still moving.”</p><p> </p><p>“But Buck!” </p><p> </p><p>“Is a damn good firefighter and knows how to protect himself.”</p><p> </p><p>“I need to help him!”</p><p> </p><p>“Damn it Eddie, stand down!” Eddie sucked in a breath and Bobby’s tone. It was the kind of tone that was usually reserved for when Buck was trying to be a hero, when in reality he was being a dumbass. And now Bobby was using it on him. “Stand down. That’s an order.” Bobby let go of Eddie’s arm and Eddie stayed still, simply gripping his hands into fists. He felt so helpless, standing there when Buck was in trouble.</p><p> </p><p>“I…” He could still feel the panic clawing up his chest. He couldn’t imagine what Buck was thinking or feeling. He couldn’t imagine the kind of panic or even pain that Buck was going through. And Eddie wanted, no, needed to help. </p><p> </p><p>“I know,” Bobby said, placing his hands on Eddie’s shoulders. “We will find him and we will help him. But for now, I need you to use your head and not your heart, alright?” Eddie just nodded, his hands slowly releasing. He knew Bobby was right. He knew they needed to wait the mudslide out and then they could help Buck. </p><p> </p><p>But that didn’t quell the concern and panic building through him.</p><hr/><p>Eddie sat in the hospital waiting room, a mix of indescribable emotions flooding through him. They had found Buck, barely able to call for help, too delirious to even know what was going on. Bobby had pulled Eddie back, letting Hen and Chimney take care of Buck.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie had felt so helpless all day. He couldn’t help Buck when the mudslide had started. He couldn’t help Buck when they found him. And he couldn’t help Buck now, as the doctors took care of him. </p><p> </p><p>All Eddie could do was sit and wait.</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie.” He looked up when he heard Bobby’s voice. “Mind if I…” He nodded to the spot next to Eddie. Eddie just nodded and Bobby sat down next to him. They were silent for a moment. Eddie couldn’t help but go back over the moment the mudslide hit. He had been replaying those moments, over and over, wondering if he could have done something different. </p><p> </p><p>But then his brain turned over something else, something Bobby had said. </p><p> </p><p>“Why did you tell me to use my head?” Eddie asked. </p><p> </p><p>“And not your heart?” Eddie nodded, twisting his lips into a line. Bobby sighed a little, a sad smile on his face. “I, uh, never really told you about what happened before I moved here?” Eddie shook his head. “The apartment building I was living in with my first wife and kids...the whole place went up. And once I realized it had, that my family was in trouble...I wasn’t thinking like a firefighter. It’s hard too, when the people you love are in trouble.”</p><p> </p><p>Eddie was stuck by those words. Love. He didn’t...he and Buck were just...He couldn’t help but look at Bobby, an almost scared look in his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“I…” And then he was hit with the reality of it. It was true, you didn’t think straight when the people you love are in trouble. “Oh.” Bobby smiled a little and patted his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s going to be okay, Eddie,” Bobby said. “And when he is, you should talk to him.” And then Bobby got up and walked away. And Eddie could do nothing but sit there as a wave of feelings crashed into him.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie loved Buck. He was in love with his best friend. The thought made his heart beat a little faster. And now, he just had to wait until Buck was okay, so he could talk to Buck.</p><hr/><p>Eddie slowly approached the door, his hands shaking slightly as he reached for the handle. Now that he was aware of his own feelings, he couldn’t help but be nervous about talking to Buck. What if this was one-sided? What if Buck only saw him as a friend and pushed him away? Eddie just shook his head, trying to push those thoughts down. There was only one way to find out. </p><p> </p><p>So, he opened the door and walked in. </p><p> </p><p>Buck was sitting up in the hospital bed, talking to Bobby. His eyes fell on Eddie as soon as he entered. Eddie just stared back at him, not sure what to say and not wanting to interrupt. Luckily, Bobby realized what was happening and simply chuckled to himself, before patting Buck’s arm. </p><p> </p><p>“Rest up and we’ll see you at work soon.” Buck nodded and then Bobby walked over to Eddie. He gave Eddie a nod before leaving the room, closing the door behind him. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you just going to stand all the way over there?” Buck asked. Eddie felt his ears get a little warm as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry,” Eddie said, walking over to Buck. “I just...I’m really glad you’re okay.”</p><p> </p><p>“Doctor says a week or two of rest and then I’ll be good as new.” Eddie just nodded and Buck tilted his head. “Are you okay? You’re weirdly quiet. Not that you’re the world’s most chatty person, but usually you’re not this quiet.” Eddie sighed. </p><p> </p><p>“I just…” Eddie started, sitting down in the chair near Buck’s bed. He pushed his hands against his thighs, trying to push past the nerves. “I, uh, realized something and I just need to get it out, so if you could let me without interrupting that would be great.” Buck just nodded and Eddie huffed out of a breath. </p><p> </p><p>It was now or never. </p><p> </p><p>“When you,” He gulped, trying to not relive the terror of when the mudslide dragged away. “I just about lost my mind. I was screaming at Bobby that we had to do something and then he said something and I had this realization that…” Buck tilted his head, but there was a small smile on his face. “I...I love you Buck.” </p><p> </p><p>Eddie just watched Buck, waiting to see his response. The truth was out there. His feelings were out there. Now, he just needed to know what Buck thought.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s always near-death experiences, huh?” Buck said and Eddie raised an eyebrow at that. </p><p> </p><p>“I just confessed I’m in love with you and that’s your response?” Buck chuckled and Eddie huffed a little.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s just kind of funny that it took something like this for you to realize,” Buck said and Eddie frowned. “Because that’s how I realized.”</p><p> </p><p>“Huh?”</p><p> </p><p>“The well,” Buck said and Eddie suddenly remembered that awful day, when he had been buried alive trying to save that little kid. And then, he remembered how protective Buck had been of him when he had made it out. And, he remembered how Buck didn’t want to leave his side. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh.”</p><p> </p><p>“I love you too,” Buck said with a smile. “If that wasn’t obvious.” Eddie let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, a smile making its way across his face. Eddie wanted nothing more than to kiss Buck in that moment. And since they had both been honest with their feelings, there was nothing stopping him from doing just that. </p><p> </p><p>So, he leaned forward, gently pressing his lips to Buck’s. </p><p> </p><p>Buck’s hand came up to cradle Eddie’s face, pulling him closer. Eddie let his fingers interlace with Buck’s other hand, as a feeling of happiness ran through him from his head to his toes. After the day they had had, this feeling, the feeling of love and warmth and happiness, that made it all worth it.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t have to stay overnight, do you?” Eddie asked, when he finally pulled away. Buck shook his head and Eddie smiled before pressing a chaste kiss to Buck’s lips. “Good. Then how about I take you home and make sure you rest in a more comfortable bed.”</p><p> </p><p>“I like the sound of that,” Buck said with a smile. “But I like just about anything when you’re involved.” Eddie smiled before leaning forward to kiss Buck again.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you,” Eddie whispered against Buck’s lips. He’d keep saying it, over and over again. Not because Buck needed to hear it. Not because he needed to say it. But because it felt right.</p><p> </p><p>Because he was thinking with his heart.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <a href="https://doctornineandthreequarters.tumblr.com">Scream with me on my Tumblr?</a>
</p></blockquote></div></div>
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